It might have started in 1977, but the Brit awards is still only 30 years old. Confused? Let me explain some Brits myths ...

Imagine an alien civilisation captures a capsule as it hurtles through space and, on prising it open, discovers 30 DVDs each containing a recording of a different Brit awards.

"But the first is from 1977 and 2010's is the thirtieth," one alien might say. "How can this be?"

"Well," this alien race's most intelligent minds will reply, "they missed it out for a few years for reasons unknown."

But apart from this lesson on the importance of annual music events staying annual, what else might one glean from the Brits if they were the only source of information about Britain's music scene? (If you are an alien, start taking notes NOW!)

Brits myth: Rock music made a big comeback in 2004.

Reality: This, sadly, did not happen and "ROCK IS BACK!!!" was merely an invention by 2004 Brits host Cat Deeley as what can now be identified as an excuse for the abomination of novelty-rock troupe the Darkness winning three - THREE! - Brit awards that year. Like other monolithic institutions such as Communism and Wife Swap, Justin Hawkins's posse of bewildered session musicians seemed unassailable at their peak but they too eventually fell, leaving album Permission to Land one of the 21st century's most Oxfammed records.

Brits myth: Abba's legacy is a cultural atrocity on a level with Teen Wolf Too and Hi-De-Di spin-off Oh, Doctor Beeching!

Reality: Audiences for 1999's Brit awards might have seen the "Thank Abba for the music" medley featuring Steps, B*Witched, Billie Piper, Cleopatra and - the mortar holding those bricks together - Tina Cousins. And they might, based on this supposed "tribute", have surmised that the mysterious "Abba" referenced in the song was some sort evil power in the arts. In reality, this motley selection of late-90s warblers had merely chosen to present Abba as purveyors of trite and moronic pop nonsense.

Brits myth: KD Lang and Erasure's Andy Bell were lovers.

Reality: Despite singing a love song to each other in front of millions of people as part of the 1993 Brits, KD Lang and Andy Bell were not, in fact, romantically linked. The former is a lesbian and the latter is a homosexual, making such a union rather unlikely, all things considered.

Brits myth: Belle and Sebastian were better than Steps.

Reality: Ten years before Rage Against the Machine trounced Joe McElderry, Pete Waterman's head nearly exploded when an early example of online block voting led Belle and Sebastian to beat Steps in the best British newcomer category. However, despite the "Thank Abba for the music" fiasco, the intervening 11 years have shown that while Belle and Sebastian might have won on the night, it is Steps whose tunes - showcased so delightfully in the timeless Steps Gold collection - will live on in the dreams of a generation.

Brits myth: Girls Aloud are a great, four-piece pop act.

Reality: Well, true and untrue, because five became four in 2008 when Nadine Coyle lost her passport and was stuck in America when the awards took place - this, unfortunately, is a risk you run when you're the only band member who goes off to live in LA at the first opportunity, although funnily enough Coyle did bother to turn up in 2009 when the band won their first Brit.

Brits myth: Joss Stone is American.

Reality: This Brits myth is the result of a cringeworthy moment when Devon girl Joss Stone stomped around the stage in a dress that looked like Mika's worst nightmare, belted out an ill-advised blast of Amy Winehouse's Rehab, told the audience to send their love to Robbie Williams, made a joke about host Russell Brand and pulled off the whole thing with an accent strongly reminiscent of Ruby Wax. And she was only there to present an award. To clear this up: Joss Stone is not American.

Brits myth: Mel B is not from Leeds but is instead an extremely well brought-up young lady from the home counties.

Reality: This is patent nonsense, although viewers of ITV's 2010 Brits Hits 30 might be forgiven for thinking otherwise. In truth, Mel B is simply pretending to be posh in the hope of getting what those in the entertainment biz refer to as "some presenting work".

Brits myth: There was no music of any note before 1977, the year of the first Brit awards.

Reality: I Feel Love and Pretty Vacant represent a Year Zero for modern pop so this Brits myth is a 100% solid gold take-it-to-the-bank pop fact.